Chedeng, Dodong, Edong… What?

Egay! Hahaha! Hindi Edong! Must be memory gap. Or maybe just low retention on random stuff, things that at some random moment does not seem important to me and thus the tendency to mix things up a lot. Hahaha!

It was chaos in the city yesterday. There was massive flooding around the condo, along Buendia, in Mayapis, and most of Osmena. At least this was what was visible from our window. The rest of city really was flooded too. I stayed and worked from home, which turned out frustrating because of my intermittent connection, the distractions in our condo, and generally the urge to just lie around and do nothing. They reported this in the news as Affective Disorder. Ang tawag ko lang dun - nauulul. Hindi ka ba maulul if you were trapped in your apartment, without money (unfortunately i did not have cash), with little food, and very humid (malagkit talaga) weather? Not to mention that I've been locked out of my blog for some days because of some technical error.(Note to self: Do not expect too much out of free services i.e. a free blog)

The good news is that my weekend work DURING our Palawan weekend has been moved! Hahaha! We're going to Palawan next week. And I have weekend production implementation, week next to that. blaaah.

I also cannot help but rave about having seen Sino Sikat perform in Tiendesitas the other night. She, Kat, was so hot! Oh man! Really. Define HOT.

I've also had a short depression spell. From the mounting pressure at the office. It's appraisal period. Ram's playing TL now. And I'm not sure I'm even getting to the next level. And my pride is very sore at the moment. And if I don't get a good raise I will bite my head off. It's been two fuckin years, I need to do my finances appropriately and think of what I plan to do in a longer term perspective. I need a plan, a two year plan that gets me in a better position for when I am 25. And I need to breathe. He says I need to lighten up. I do. BREATHE.

All this rain is dampening my otherwise clear and sunny mindset. I will go to Palawan next week and hope I don't get Malaria and when I get back - I'll have a plan.

Constantly Moving: 3 years, 3 blogs

while i do have a knack for moving, sometimes i get to thinking, damn i shouldave stayed there! i got this sudden impulse to start a project to bring all my blog entries to one place. but then again, why would i do that? i have no idea. maybe i like reading on what i was thinking months, years ago, and feel good with all the choices i made (no matter how fucked up or bored i felt at any point in time). i would not have done anything any other way. really. it's amusing that i STILL think in the lines of my older blogs, while my way of thinking has changed in some ways.

so i'll leave it at that. 3 years, 3 blogs. SO FAR. the night is young…

blogging free style

it's sunday. i'm bored. and have all the time to blog.

***

me checking out a trans show. is an anomaly. hahaha. yesterday, i met up with ram and his buddies at the philippine motor show in wtc. i am not really a fan of automobiles, mostly because i don't like jerks who thinks he's the world because he has a cool ride, and i absolutely despise girls who adore these guys. i am also not fan of auto cliques/clubs, and i definitely do not like women being the biggest accessory to an automobile. never mind that she does not understand anything about cars, as long as she's sexy and dresses slutty. wouldn't it be great for these girls to at least know somethin about what they're modeling for? i know it's marketing strategy and all but it would be so much more astig if the model knows one or two things about cars. it's a relief that ram is not the superficial automobile junkie. he goes to trans show to check out the most fuel efficient automobiles and which ones would give highest value for money. he goes to races and does not spend one minute oggling the driver (would be so gay) but talks to the mechanic instead. he's got this big fascination for how things work. this was also the first time i was to meet ram's buddies who are not from work. huge relief that he doesn't hang out with guys who are pa-konyo.

***

with all due respect to philippine icons and traditions, i find that the kalesa just doesn't fit the city anymore. you should have seen the horses who looked old and tired and thirsty from all the running and pulling. i didn't even see them being given water the whole night that ram and i watched them at tiendesitas. there was this one old horse who was constantly on the run since it was sunday and family day and he pulled the biggest kalesa that can accomodate families. i don't think they should be in the city anymore with all the noise and the pollution and the drivers who care only about earning money but do not look very keen on taking care of the horses.

***

i've been meaning to write about nike. and haviannas. and that i will NEVER sell out and buy these. nike has commercialized every sport and has raised the prices of sporting goods. what's more iritating is that many have bought the idea that, for instance, if you're going jogging, you NEED to have an expensive pair of shoes and that you NEED to have ipod plugged in your ears, and you need to bring a nike bottle water that costs short of 1k. what happened to JUST RUNNING? if you're not a professional athlete, do you really need all these expensive stuff? and yes, i mean in fairness haviannas looks sturdy and all. and looks nice too. but i will not buy a pair. it's just a freaking pair of slip-ons! and there are locally made slippers that are just as sturdy and not as expensive. this NEED to buy and consume goods that are so expensive because of their global mark for coolness… is so stupid. on the marketing side, it is ingenuinity. on the buying side, it's quite stupid. depends on how you look at it. nike goods, haviannas, apple, sony cameras… all have brilliant marketing. these products rely on their popularity  from the brilliant marketing. the not so popular products, on the other hand, strive to enhance their technology for function, and practicality, and value.

but why am i saying this. maybe i shouldn't be saying this since Levi is one of our clients. and because there are people who buy overpriced jeans, there is a big industry for making these jeans. and because there's a big industry for making expensive jeans, there's a need for enterprise softwares and solutions. and because of that i have a job. and many others too. alright. so commercialization and consumerism creates jobs. fine. we have jobs because there will always be people who are stupid enough to fall for EVERY marketing ploy. i owe my living to idiots. gasp.

***

ram's future at the company is secured. he's going to the next level come september. me… i have no idea. hahaha. i just turned down a confusing offer (that looked good but looked more like a mouse trap for me) - the job, by the way, is being offered to my teammate who's been working for that client for months now, and who's in a position to negotiate the terms and demand and take the job. i have a couple of applications to other IT firms (nobody at the office knows this of course except maybe ram) although leaving acn is not really definitely planned at the moment.

***

it's august 12. next week is rhoda's homecoming, and my scheduled work weekend, and i have to go home since it's my mom's birthday this week. lots of holidays this month! and a lot to look forward to.

what you didn’t learn in college

Suddenly, the tenets of success we've followed since kindergarten don't apply, because getting ahead in the business world often has nothing to do with intelligence or exceeding a set of defined expectations…

…just consider how much time you are likely to spend in the business world. Assuming you work from age 22 to age 65 for 235 days a year, you'll be on someone else's clock for about 80,000 hours, or one tenth of your life. …Isn't it only fair that you do everything you can to create a rewarding job experience?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/worklife/08/08/cb.outof.college/index.html

missing tabulas

i'm missing my tabulas blog… ever tried re-reading your entries? very soothing. specially when you realize that, hey, it all fits together. i remember posting this last year:

rob was telling me about this guy he wants me to meet. kept on saying we were bagay daw. said this guy wanted a pretty, poised girl, who's matino pero medyo gago na mahilig sa street food. rob described the guy this way: 'he's matangkad, looks good, and has dimples. eww. sucks ro describe guys' hahaha and i was like asking him, is this guy adventurous? impulsive but gives this unexplainable sense that he's mature and responsible? i realized ang weird pala ng criteria ko sa guys, it's like i want a living irony. hahaha. i already know one, actually, and maybe that's why she's my bestfriend. hahaha @ eifril

i got exactly what i wanted. i did get a living irony for a boyfriend this time. @_@

no regrets.

i live by impulse. it's a fact. i say what i want, do what i want and don't give shit what other people think because as far as i know, if you're not really significant to me, you don't exist. and i don't care. if i want something, i will exert all my efforts strategizing to get it. if i don't get what i want, good try then. at least i can die the next day knowing i've done all i can and wasted no time searching every road for what makes me happy. i've broken about every rule in the book which doesn't really matter to me because as far as i know, i am out there learning it all the hard way. it wasn't always pretty and a few times i swear i almost lost my head. but i owned up to all the mistakes, took all the blame that was mine, and earned everything from working hard, and from letting myself take the beating for all the (impulsive) choices i make. i learned it all the hard way from the very start, it's how i grew up. and i have no regrets.

i have always been somewhat scary hahahaha. and the only people i know who handle me really well are those who are just as scary as i am.

Who Moved My Cheese?

Who Moved My Cheese?
An Amazing Way to Deal With Change In Your Work & In Your Life
DR SPENCER JOHNSON

“Cheese” – a metaphor for what we want to have in life, whether it is a job, a relationship, money, a big house, freedom, health, recognition, spiritual peace, or even an activity like jogging or golf. Each of us has our own idea of what Cheese is, and we pursue it because we believe it makes us happy. If we get it, we often become attached to it. And if we lose it, or it’s taken away, it can be traumatic.

The is about two mice and two little people searching the maze for cheese. The two mice are simple-minded and are quick to 'Sniff' out change and to 'Scurry' to action. The little people, on the other hand are complicated and tend to 'Hem' and 'Haw'so that change doesn't make them budge easy.

So the story goes: One day, the cheese was gone in Cheese Station C. Sniff and Scurry were not surprised at all as they have already noticed the dwindling supplies and wasted no time to move on and find new cheese. Hem and Haw, who both have gotten so comfortable having the cheese and have built their whole lives around Cheese Station C, were shocked. 'Who moved MY cheese? How can this be happening to me? Why are they doing this me? IT'S NOT FAIR.' exclaimed Hem in his bratty tone because surely he is entitled to HIS cheese, is he not? He was angry and blamed other people for his loss. Haw also reflected on their loss. Both wondered where the mice had gone and they concluded that the mice were stupid and they were smart. Together, they whined and complained and waited and waited for the cheese to come back. Meanwhile, the mice have already found Cheese Station N. Haw finally realized he was wasting time and needed to search the maze for new cheese even if he was afraid. Hem would not budge so went on the journey alone and learned a few things on the way:

Having Cheese Makes You Happy.
The More Important Your Cheese is To You, The More You Want To Hold Onto It.
If You Do Not Change, You Can Become Extinct.
Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old.
Movement In A New Direction Helps You Find New Cheese.
When You Move Beyond Your Fear, You Feel Free.
Imagining Myself Enjoying New Cheese, Even Before I Find It, Leads Me To It.
The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner you Find New Cheese.
It Is Safer To Search In The Maze Than Remain In The Cheeseless Situation.
Old Beliefs Do Not Lead You To New Cheese.
When You See That You Can Find And Enjoy New Cheese, You Change Course.
Noticing Small Changes Early Helps You Adapt To The Bigger Changes That Are To Come.

Here's my take: Change is constant and you'd better be prepared to Sniff and anticipate change and to be able to Scurry to action (Reaction was never enough). You'd better learn how to adapt and be flexible without being too easily influenced to the point of stupid. Scurry is my favorite for some other reason that's not entirely based on the story. It comforts me to know that there is always something you can do if you choose to. If something doesn't work, try another strategy. If you don't like where your life is going, well don't stop. Try another road. Surely, stopping only decreases your chances of getting there when you can just try again and turn to another direction. If you're not happy with how things are, DO SOMETHING about it. But if you insist, you can go ahead and Hem yourself where you are, plant your feet in the ground, be all whiny and bratty and pretend that the cheese will come to you because you're so special and would never ever need to search the maze yourself, or adjust for anything or anyone, or work hard for anything at all for the rest of your life.

midweek grogginess

i just got back to the office today and already i am feeling groggy @_@ my head is spinning and i can still use some bed rest. yawns. there is a spreading grogginess around the office and even on the streets. this reminds me of dementors roaming muggle streets hahaha. haaay. i hate the bad, constantly changing weather and everhwhere i look somone looks sick or groggy.

love the little surprise in the work mail though. apparently the write-up i made for our newletter was a hit. and people are loving are the 'forbidden questions' game (only slightly more wholesome) that came along with it. this involved our manager. hahaha. i must be crazy pulling off forbidden questions with our manager. nice nice.

i have also just finished reading deathly hallows. good read. guess we wont be hearing about any more HP sequels.

ZZZ. yawns.

ram weekend

my ram weekend is over. again. won't be seeing another ram weekend in months, i bet. and will be back to sneaking from work to take breaks with ram (previously known as yosi breaks haha) and to making do with the little time we have after the late work nights. i remember saying there was nothing better than a back breaking massage after a work week. er, i am not sure that it's still entirely true and will now spend my idle time imagining me lazy in a jacuzzi for hours. we should probably visit The Spa again. but i liked having all this time with ram during the weekend… at the spa, he just spends his time trying not to look at the other guys' penises and i get bored at the women's spa because i'm alone (at walang makausap, walang malandi hahaha)

the la salle vs ust game this afternoon was a blast. great game! this means so much coming from someone who's just generally not a basketball fan and have no school loyalties whatsoever. hahaha. hate the company for giving us tickets that are on different rows (morons. marketing must have nicked some tickets) but in fairness we were at the patron box.

yawns. hate the idea of crawling into bed without ram in it. will console myself with deathly hallows.

i.ph blogs

ggrrrr the only thing i truly hate with the i.ph blogs is that my post gets missing sometimes! hate! i do love how it looks though. can spend hours oggling how it looks. @_ @ give me back my previous entry! GRRR.

deathly hallows

after only one week, eifril, japo and monette all have finished reading book seven and i now have the book to myself! (eifril and japo finished last saturday and sunday. i don't think they slept well. and monette was up for nights, after work, reading too) kudos eifril who has been doing all the book shopping since we were in highschool and i never really needed to buy all these books that i would have just probably lost with the constant moving in and out of apartments. except for the ones that she won't buy herself hahaha. i think i still have some books i took from my gradeschool library (to kill a mocking bird).

will probably risk the high possibility of being distracted from my ram weekend and go ahead and read deathly hallows. hahaha. think i will have connection over the weekend. we're going to the uaap games on sunday. not that i'm an overly excited alumni. ram won these tickets, you see. the company's sponsored uaap and they have all these ads everywhere. well not that i actually care. hahaha.

shower. bed. deathly hallows.

telenovela mindset

and that's not just in the news. my god, why do we have to look at our lives constantly defining sino ang bida, sino ang kontrabida, and defining the chapters and highlighting the conflicts too much and unfolding it SO overly dramatic and problematic to an audience that doesn't really exist! madaming nagugutom na tao sa africa at mas madaming problema sa mundo na seryoso gaya ng poverty, hunger, child labor, violation of human rights, pollution and depletion of environmental resources etc. para maging acceptable ang mga taong wala na talagang ibang inatupag kundi magreklamo sa buhay nila na sa totoo lang eh rather convenient and comfortable pa nga. pwede ba. THINK.

YAY RAIN! and now that someone mentioned it…

and it rains in Manila! after all this buzz on water and power shortage because of the abnormal dry spell. let it pour. today, tomorrow.. i hope the weekend feels 'summer-ish' though. ram and i have this mini-vacation planned at http://www.legendvillas.com.ph

now that it's been pointed out, i am now officially annoyed reading Philippine Daily Inquirer. basta makakontra lang kokontra talaga in its opinion section, whereas Philippine Star publishes opinions that are written more objectively and recognizes when to assume a positive note in the spin of things without sounding hopelessly too optimistic. even the news and headlines, Inquirer tends to downplay on factual details because it's too busy highlighting the drama and the politics. someone told me, this is exactly why right when we are about to take off, someone ALWAYS messes things up. we have the telenovela mindset and CONFLICT is required and gushing about the kontrabida's is the past-time when we can do something more productive with our time. (the frustration! the frustration!!!)

gloria jeans

i love my big brown couch! (akin to as of the moment and as long i'm sitting here it's mine hahaha) whaaaat. it's 1 in the morning. saturday. and work's been crazy and harrassing all week. so right now, if i call this couch mine, it's mine. hahahaha. ram, sitting across me, looks so weird right now with the wrinkled forehead looking dead serious when i know he's just playing warcraft. i probably look weird too, looking serious when he thinks: she's just blogging. hahaha.

yawns. long day. snoozed my alarm for two hours this morning and ended up going to office during lunch time. since i start my day late and tend to put off the leg work up to the last minute for cramming, i end up going home close to midnight. i love coffee.

two weeks of no smoking! hahaha. 0 hours spent in the gym unfortunately. 12 hours spent in the office. 2 hours spent on the road. all the time i can get in between i try to spend with ram. yawns. N-N

was bored with the latest hp movie. forgettable movie. what, after transformers are you kidding me. and while i love the sights around bonifacio, i HATE being close enough to hear girls screaming at each other: hey you know what, listen listen, i have a new home theatre system 42 inches.. it's so fucking gorgeous with the, what do you call that, the ek ek ek ek.. hahahaha anong ek ek ka dyan. kailangan ba kasing mag ingles? nagsuot lang ng leggings at slingbacks at naglakad sa bonifacio napa-ingles na. hahahaha. patawarin. sabi ni ram masyado lang daw akong condescending: to deal with people in a patronizing manner. kasi naman ek ek ek daw ano ba yun hahaha. sana binulong na lang nya para naman hindi nakakahiya HAHAHAHA.

haaay, hello weekend 2nd week of july. time of the year when absolutely nothing happens. summer's over, and christmas won't be in a few more months. and my birthday long after that. god i still forget i'm 23. hahaha.

love today love today!

Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today
Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today,
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.
Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di…..  - MIKA

sunday morning.

nothing beats a hard and back-breaking massage after a crazy hell work week. *aaahhh*. it's day 5 of not smoking and eating healthy and supposedly going to fitness and health activities like the gym (haha) with ram. we were remembering the obsessions we've exhausted together: late nights at local bars looking up local bands, almost always hooked up at skype when he was at sg, the sudden impulse that got us living at some beach every week when he got back (and now we are both dead broke haha), and spending every night at timezone for 2 whole weeks. the past few days we've been snuggled at some random coffee shop couch reading newspapers and magazines (based on the dslr reviews on the tech magazines i've read, canon still is the best. i swear one day i will get one.). might go back to fully booked at bonifacio high street one of these days. the sight of the books stacked shelf by shelf, wall to wall is almost orgasmic. it's supposed to be five floors but we've only seen the ground floor completed.

speaking of a crazy hell work week, someone has got to stop complaining and start working more. becuase if you're in, you have got to step UP. and if you're out, then you can step OUT.  you can use your time complaining and not getting anywhere, or you can step up. either way, i don't care if you think i'm a bitch. I think i'm a bitch too.

First of Third.

and so after much consideration which was really at most a few minutes (hahaha impulse, i get that a lot), i have decided again to move to a new blog. and while i don't actually have anything special to ehermmm say for my first entry, i DO have this. that's ram and me and vince from last year's lunch at cascada. @_@ 9 months. good times good times. meanwhile, i am still in the office, on a friday night, waiting for something to happen.