i’m not here, here’s why:

i’m at http://misadventurous.multiply.com haha! i’ve had that multiply thing for awhile now. and it’s just so much simpler to blog there, although i haven’t really found a theme that i really like. i looove this blog (like all the others). but i’ll be at multiply for now. lalala.

back to love errr blog

first off, happy new year! it's january 12, 2008 and i could not possibly blog during the turn of the year without doing some sort of final look at 2007 and what i hope to do in 2008. and i'm too lazy to do that. hahaha. so to make it short, the long breezy holidays were spent at home with my mom's unusually good homecooking (or maybe i've just had too much basura food to eat in the city). night out with the girls and ram was fun and i still think of the nbi and losing the skirt stories hahaha. back at the office, it was slow for a few days after the holidays mostly because people were still on petiks mode but that quickly changes when the counterparts get to work again. i am not going onshore to work for another client and will be staying here to continue leading the small unit that supports the current client's activities (call me taong-bahay!). so it does look like i won't be missing summer, or jaena's homecoming. ram, on the other hand, was with the boys last night and this will be the case for each time one of his friends/buddies/teammates gets married - stag parties (stupid men and their egos and their lame excuse of a tradition). while i stayed home to finish up on my feature articles for this quarter's newsletter release (where the hell was digz and voltz at last night?). today is another weekend that's looking busted. again. we haven't been to the pool in weeks, it's too cold to swim, and i still think going to the gym is a bore. yoga requires effort that i do not feel i'm committed to give at the moment (cold, boring, lazy - excuses hahaha). foreign movies are back yay! with no new episodes for heroes and prison break (when are they airing again…. gaaah), and the manila film fest exlclusively showing in theatres, and no new psp games that interest me, seeing 'national treasure' and 'i am legend' is like a breath of fresh air!

eye-popping

kikay day misadventures

as if kikay ako hahahaha. ganun pa man. saturday was kikay day. maintenance once in a blue moon kapag sobrang basura ko na. i did get that haircut i said i needed. got it at razzle dazzle from mr. sunny who also manipulated me to get panel highlights hahaha. love the bob and my new colors! should not have spent on the bench fix hair treatments 2 months ago.

***

the real misadventure (if not actually a total hassle) was the terrible experience at anzen spa (note to self: stick to lotus spa). it was pricey and the service was bad. para akong minasang karne, yung nagmamasahe nakatingin sa ceiling while she was massaging me. and on top of that, ang ingay sa labas. beneath the pretentious zen music is the blare of beyonce in an fm radio somewhere, with the staff themselves VERY noisy, even the waiting customers who were gossiping about our company by the way. screwed out of my money to get stressed out for bad service instead of getting relaxed and unwinding from the work life.

whatever. i am over that. sabi nga ni ram habang nagrarant ako kagabi, don't dwell on it because being angry all the time gets us nowhere (looook who's talking lalala). anyway, i am not getting the starbucks planner this year. i placed an order for a BDJ planner instead. not that i'm actually into having a fashionista (daw) planner (what is it with stereotyping that pisses me off) but that everyone else has started drinking starbucks again like crazy for the planner. and i don't want to ride that wagon this year (and i'm cutting on caffeine, and honestly the free vendo coffee at the floor, or the 30 peso brewed coffee at the cafeteria in the office, are both better than the 100+ starbucks coffee, IF i was still drinking coffee - comes with quit smoking, avoid caffeine, eat healthy > live longer advocacy).

***

it's sunday and will probably head to out to the pool today with ram. at the office, we're back to planning that fashion show thing for the capability, on top of the actual tech work. other than that, i do not have a life. hahaha.

an amusing week

suddenly, running into naked people, running into confrontations and complications of discovering there were 2 of them (even 3! one of the girlfriends having just delivered his baby), more people leaving team creating more work for me, getting into confrontations with the condo security guards, discovering long scratches on the panel doors of ram's car (we're guessing this was the guards' revenge, we were parked in street), spending quiet laidback nights without alcohol and a month of not smoking (would you believe) - have become the the norm of everyday life. i am saying goodbye to my every-friday pants, which i have been using for the past 2 years (haha pathetic) and saying hello to jeans on fridays! 'maong para makatulong' - can wear jeans, have to pay 50pesos. lots of gifts for the service people (guards, janitors etc). we're supposed to raise more than a million (whaaat).

jeans in the office! they think they can send postcards in email of models (employees) wearing jeans without me in it?! i'm putting up my own. hahahaha! i so need a haircut.

gay action: lago de oro weekend

  i may not be cut out for wakeboarding (was sore all over even when all we did was kneeboard - and i couldn't even cut through the corners hahaha) but i am definitely game for some looooving hahahaha. ram has found his true love. hahahaha!

something’s got to give. attached herewith is a letter i actually sent. eheerrmmm.

Cityland ****
-address removed-

October 31, 2007

To the administrator:

Good day Sir Dennis! As per our discussion this morning, here are the premises of our complaint:

• That on the morning of October 31, 2007 we had a confrontation with your guards by the names of ‘Milka’ and ‘Bargola’
• The said guards were inconsiderate and addressed us rather rudely when my friend stopped his car at the driveway for only 3 minutes to pick me up at 9:00AM. This behavior is unacceptable for guards who are being paid for (partly, if not in full) by the association dues that we shoulder every month and MUST NOT be tolerated.
• That for the past year we have observed that the guards do not treat all vehicles fairly. Most of the time we noticed that they would make us leave (in a very rude manner) while letting other vehicles stay for some reason — if others can influence them to be more lenient, or if there is something that predisposes them to be biased against us and be more inconsiderate and rude towards us, we do not know.  This is unacceptable. We agree to comply with all regulations provided it is implemented across the board without favors/biases and provided that these guards do not show rudeness and disrespect, especially during the start of the day.
• We also suggest that the guards explain thoroughly (the way you did) why vehicles are not allowed to stay in the driveway in a rational and polite manner instead of being rude and only saying: ‘Bawal nga dyan eh!’
• I am personally very insulted to be treated this way in the vicinity of my own ‘home’ by people who supposedly should look out for my every concern as a tenant of Cityland 8. As per our discussions this morning, we have fully grasped the situation and are willing to comply as much as possible to get out of the way so as not to cause any more trouble in the driveway. We are only requesting that we be allowed to wait in the basement area during drop off/pickup. Rest assured that we always only take about 3 minutes and that we do not intend to park. This is especially important in certain situations, such as heavy rain, or when we have heavy baggage that if we cannot wait along driveway, at least we can wait in the basement.

Thank you so much for your time and we appreciate your efforts in creating a compromise in this very inconvenient situation.

Best Regards,
****************************
Cityland ****, Unit ****Tenant

occasionally.

after 6 days of zero nicotine and zero coffee (and lots of fruit and juice and vitamins hahaha) and being sleepy everyday in the office despite having slept 8 to 9 hours ay nagyosi ako kagabi at the team's night out. it was the expat's last night in Manila. (his mom went crazy when she learned about the glorietta bombing. he's staying at shangrila.) i still smoke, occasionally. seriously. gaaaaah. this is bad.

the other night we saw 11th hour at g4, another documentary on global warming. i think i like al gore's inconvenient truth better. it's got more substance. 11th hour on the other hand, is really kind of too sensationalized for me, a little too much opinion and drama. but even if it failed on building it's argument on a solid and factual basis, it discussed social responsibility emphasizing on global warming being just a symptom of a global society gone sick. it was a little too dramatic but i think it's got some points to consider - our constant goal to expand (without thinking of how we can do it in a sustainable way) which entails needing to use up more resources, the power of media and advertising to feed society's consumerism mindset which makes us think we need so much of these material things (trackback to my haviannas and nike blog entry) which are produced using up more resources (and oil). ram did not like this argument and thinks it's somehow a communist propaganda. i don't actually think that consumerism and capitalism are the only things to blame as root causes of global warming but somehow it's not hard to believe that they do contribute to the problem and not the solution. i think it applies more to US though as they definitely are the largest consumers in the world. still it doesn't hurt, even for us, to think twice if we really need something, or if there's a cheaper, or a more nature-friendly alternative. well i'm also guilty for adding to the problem (for smoking gaah) and trying to get down to a level that if i don't have the solution, at least i don't contribute to the problems of the world. so occasionally is not really better. which is a very depressing dilema. @_@

i also did the interview for this quarter's tech newsletter release (i know i know! i remember complaining so much about being obliged for extra work) which turned out to be a very insightful conversation, personally. talking to someone who's so together and so in control of her life (knows what she wants, goes for what she wants, manager in only 6 years in the company, has her own business at 27 and feels she has a balanced life) is like seeing the wreck that i am for living day by day just by impulse. i do love the well rounded person i turned out to be for having done so many unexpected detours (misadventures haha). but having that conversation was really kind of awakening, that hey you (me), you're not in college and you have got to learn to manage your own life efficiently. as ram would say, there are different strokes for different folks. and as much as i have always loved being reckless and impulsive, there's got to be some room for me to act more responsibly. yes? yes.

i won't bee seeing cybergate this week (yey! i hate cybergate although the blast in makati somehow creates relief for staying in mandaluyong) and will be at oracle (pacific building, i think) for a vendor training (hello another few months of bond with the company just after i served my 2 years bond which is not really a problem since i don't seem to be going anywhere soon, mabubulok na kaya ako sa kumpanyang ito? kung ganon mabubulok ako dito with flying colors! lalala).

one last thing - happy birthday to ram's mom today, since he won't greet his mom for me. am-bading daw. pag may nakukuhang yosi kay ram, sabihin nya sa mommy nya - ay hindi sakin yan! kay grace yan! dahil yun daw ang silbi ng tropa, fail safe, alangan naman daw ilaglag nya sarili nya. hahahaha! what an ass!!! well he is great that way, very amusing.

after an inspiring conversation which got me thinking…

day 2, attempt # 3

this is day 2 of not smoking (so far) in my 3rd attempt to quit. wooohooo! i have only lasted as long as 2 weeks of truly believing that i will quit. hahaha. now i am eating chocolates and cookies every other hour to relieve the urge to go down for smokes. hahaha! 9 laps yesterday! hahaha and THAT is attempt # 2 at trying to have an exercise activity of some sort during weekends.

eto, buhay pa…

It’s been a pretty tough week and this is definitely a well-deserved quiet long weekend. Our US counterpart flew in last weekend and it’s been extra busy at the office. I’ve been going to the office REALLY early from having to pick him up at his hotel during his first day (at this point, I never thought I would see the light of day at exactly 7AM) to having to catch his KT sessions at 10am all week. The KT sessions take two to four hours everyday on top of having to attend other meetings, plan other non-work things (newsletter articles, community events, meetings, lunch, dinner, night out for our expat – I’m not sure why when I’m not really gaining anything by doing these and now people just EXPECT me to be doing these by default and I just don’t like being obliged for anything especially when for something that’s not really part of my job, SO yes, this has been the subject of my constant ranting lately and might be worth another blog entry), and (still) doing the actual tech work.

Over one of our lunches with the expat, I asked him if it was odd at all that Filipinos just generally seem like happy people. He said this was something he did notice and that even at the Atlanta office, people just weren’t as friendly and he begun telling us about the drama that goes on during planning which of course we never really notice over the very impersonal emails and calls.  We really do seem always so happy – if you ask someone how he’s doing, he will say eto buhay pa HAHAHA despite the very depressing state in which he lives, say, he lives in urban slums. And it’s great really that we always find something funny but sometimes I actually think that this is not a good thing. If we can deal with life just laughing it all off with a dismissive ganyan talaga ang buhay, it’s not really going to take us anywhere… better. This is how we live, the sad state of how we live makes us laugh, and it’s ok because that’s just how it is. – It just doesn’t sound right. There is no need for us to try harder or strive for anything better with this kind of thinking.

*******

Meanwhile, I almost crawled going home after the Thursday night out with the team. The last time I remember being really wasted before that was back in summer in SG. But that was excusable because I didn’t know the brew was stronger with higher alcohol content which should have been an easy thing to guess considering that 1 barrel of beer costs 3K.  I believe I lost a pound or two just from the effort of having to throw up last Thursday.  Friday was my Ram day, spent at his house while nursing my hangover. UNFORTUNATELY her sister ran into us and I looked horrible and this is bad because I happen to know for a fact that she is also kupal hahaha. I had a ginormous pimple from having slept with makeup (gaaaaaaaaah) because I was too drunk. Saturday was spent in bed since my body still ached all over. Ram and I did grab dinner and a few things from Rockwell though. It’s the 70% off Sale Weekend. And Baker’s Dozen is still there. He missed his East 19 gimik at Sucat and I missed Teena’s invite for Metrowalk. Our wakeboarding weekend has been moved to the last week of October. We will be heading to the Bonifacio pool tomorrow to do some laps. It’s been weeks since we did anything physical (except.. eherrmm haha).

*******

For the first time in 2 years, I am on top of my finances. And I feel relieved that I will not have to think about how reckless I am and feel bad about it. Diet is bad and I’ve been eating recklessly resulting to another very bad pimple breakout. I’m also behind on the healthy routine, smoking too much on some days and not being able to work out. Work, on the other hand is great nowadays while I don’t see as much of Ram on weekdays. I realized that at any point in time, I can’t be doing great in everything – work, finances, health, personal well being – something always gets the backseat. And I really wish that’s not how I run my life, with some things getting the backseat so I can focus on what seems (temporarily) important. There is always a gap between how things are at present and how I want things to be. And I’m always trying to close that gap and GET THERE.

it’s officially the biggest media in the gaaaame.

Lady Sovereign's Love Me, Hate Me. i think she's hot. i'm sorry but i do like checking out hot girls. i'm not really lesbian but there's got to be something DIVINE with girls who are too pretty or too goddamn sexy with unbelievable curves. and you can just stare at them all day and wonder if you were actually created by the same god (or force, if you don't believe in god) who masterpieced these creatures. hahaha. but then again i could be spending too much time with guys that i begin to think like them. (have you seen vanessa hudgens in a bikini? hot. and she's only 19.)

and she goes - Go on then go and rePORT me, I'm English, try and dePORT me!!! with that sexy Brit accent. cute! not that i'm really into trashy rap songs. this is what i get for playing too much 'need for speed'. i can't get the music tracks out of my head. i don't really even like cars. well ok, i'm just in it for beating ram's NFS profile. hahaha. i own a total of 8 turfs now. and i now own a metallic pink ford mustang GT with skulls painted on the customized body kit, and with all performance parts upgraded. and still have around 80k of cash. HA! life sounds so great when i think like this. hahaha.

and yes i guess i'm obsessed, taking my psp everywhere with me (even in the toilet bwaahahaha). me and my random temporary preoccupations. anything to wad off the enemy - boredom. hahaha!

you see it’s not funny when the joke’s on you.

it's funny when you see a movie portraying an Indian on a helpdesk service taking calls like a robotic idiot. or when your friends joke about how bad they always smell. and how funny their accent is.

you probably laughed your ass off watching the parody on kazakstan by the funny, very naive and stupid Borat. it was hilarious.

it's also an accepted fact that blonde american girls are stupid. and the british portrays americans as white trash. and that's funny. even the americans display trashy behavior contributing to the general perception that americans are overrated and well, stupid. remember jackass?

or how about the NOT so subtle jokes of south park on Canadians? that's funny too.

and then there's the desperate hoursewives joke on filipino doctors. no one's laughing. at least not in this country. apparently it's not funny when the jokes on you.

everybody's guilty of prejudice and discrimination. it's just that there's always a BIGGER fish to make everyone feel preyed on, victimized. we are both predator to entities we think are smaller than us, and prey to entities that are presumably larger than we think of ourselves. can be shitty, but it's just how the world works.

bliss bliss bliss. and (mis)adventures

on sunday, my (what i used to call) extended affair with ram goes 1 year. happy! not really because of the anniversary concept, but because it really doesn't feel like it's been a year to me. i am very prone to boredom and being with ram, so far, has been my biggest adventure. it's weird that even now when i look at him, i get amused. and get a sudden rush of disbelief, both for having him and for still getting overexcited at the prospect of him. he's confident, hot, smart, VERY competitive (even with me) and so much his own person who takes on a twisted perspective of things that we COLLIDE. and i love that. it's been one hell of a year!

NU 107

every morning on the bus (or cab if i'm lucky), on long trips to god knows where, most of the day while i waste away bored at the office, on nights like tonight when everyone else have gone home to their fabulous lives… NU is my best bud. long live the rock culture (or reggae at least for tonight).

i am back to using the word 'bored' with variations of 'shitty' and 'fucking' bored phrases.

fresh grads

i remember when i was one. i did not know what was on the finish line. i did not know the race i was running. 2 years later i am just as frustrated as ever. maybe the finish line does not exist.

these fresh grads - they're sooo … happy and excited. they don't really know what they're signing up for. my day as tech instructor is almost over. i will head back to my cube to ponder the meaning of life.

breathe.

stop. just breathe…

yawns.

haaay sunday night. my ram sunday was stolen by work. just about done with the production implementation that was moved from last week to this weekend because of the trip.

monday, after we got back from the trip, spent most of the day doing errands at the condo. spent noon just hanging out with ram, the two of us alternately ranting about my palawan weekend and his tagaytay off road trip. the rest of the week and the late nights spent at the office (grudgingly) for having been gone almost a week. with lots of eating out (i noticed). people seem to be in good spirits what with the pay-increase season. and i am, again, on another pimple-breakout week for having eaten too much french fries and fried and grilled things. god bless lotus spa for the reasonably-priced body massage. spent my saturday noon doing laps at the pool in fort bonifacio. today, had lunch at ram's. he cooked. lamb chops and salad. how very insulting. hahaha. (i can't cook, you see)

ram's got an obsession with creative zen, psp, and ps3. it's been 48 hours and he still cannot think of anything else. i am thinking of my long due haircut. and my messy eyebrows. and the team building at balay indang this coming weekend. and the instructor materials that i have to read before thursday. and my attack plan for my credit card bills. hahaha. and our anniversary next month (it can't actually be a year already… ?) hihi!

speaking of the anniversary, he wants us to go out of town for vacation. i'm not sure we'd want to go to the beach. if we do that my complexion will get darker than midnight. he seems to like it though, not sure why he loves me always looking boyish and outdoorish or in short, dugyot. in contrast to rhoda's kim who wants her always looking se-xy! hahaha. btw did you get your dress?

haaay so bored. i really have to do some tech readings on PS and unix for when they call…

reality…

is this. wasting the day away at the office. working late. getting starved for working late before getting dinner. eating crappy food for dinner because the decent restos have already closed. every-single-day. we can dream of escaping our own little realities, only to realize that we need them. that we can't really live without them. that i can't really be happy about getting away from the city life to live simply and remotely somewhere and dying happy and satisfied.

palawan was dreamlike. and sitting here i can almost make believe that i just imagine it all. THIS is my reality.

[mis]adventures in palawan